welcome to my digital journal! i update this page whenever i feel like it, since 10/4/23. click on an entry to expand it!

5/19/24, junior prom!!!

hihihi! i have one pretty big update... my junior prom was last night! it was at an aquarium and i had lots of fun :) my ex (the rude one) was there but thankfully they were fairly civil... oh also!!! remember how in the previous journal entry i was talking about playing in stars and time? well i did not finish playing it, but i did accidentally go down an internet rabbit hole of wikis, walkthroughs, and spoilers. which means that i am almost completely caught up on the events of the game, save for some miscellaneous details in the middle. as a result, we split two new alters, both from in stars and time. i am PROBABLY going to get around to finishing the game myself eventually, but what happened was that i got slightly burnt out and slightly impatient from the monotonous nature of the game, and i attempted to look up how to beat the game QUICKLY, while still seeing everything there is to see. which, as you can imagine, quickly turned into spoiler territory. as i said, i will MOST LIKELY continue playing it sometime, but that time is not now. anyways, see you next time!

5/15/24, a major award!

hiiii! so i have a few updates, this time all good ones (yay)! firstly, i started the game in stars and time on monday! i have been REALLY enjoying it so far, though i am only on act 2. on a related note, isafrin makes me want to explode! i have already latched onto them like a moth to a flame, or perhaps a minnow to a shark. secondly, i COMPLETELY forgot to update this, but about a month and a half ago, i won some regional scholastic awards! i will NOT be sharing my region, but i won two regional gold key (highest possible regional award!!!) awards and one silver key! one of the gold key winners is listed on my writing archive, entitled "unmarked gravestone". the other two winners, however, i will be keeping to myself. thirdly, in a similar vein, my school had its annual award ceremony last night! i was invited to receive an award, and i won $100 for my creative writing accomplishments! i'm very proud of myself and my irl friends who also won awards :) okay, that's enough updates! see you next time!

5/11/24, gah (cw: unhealthy eating habits)

hi again! two journal updates in a week, wow! on a more serious note, things have not been great for me tbh. i started an adhd medication/stimulant this week, which has made my pre-existing lack of an appetite WORSE. it's also given me really bad headaches, worse than usual. best of all, i'm on such a low dose that the stimulant isn't having its intended effect, and i'm just experiencing all of the shitty side effects. on top of that, avoiding my ex has been really stressing me out, and my paranoia has been terrible as a result. AND i'm currently super sick/congested. i did have my school's spring concert on thursday though, which actually went pretty well. whew, that's a lot of updates! in other news, finals are soon, so i have to lock in on schoolwork. updates might be slow/sporadic for a while. or maybe they won't, who knows! see you next time!

5/5/24, the end of an era

hi! i have quite a few updates for you all... first off, radium girls closed yesterday! our shows went pretty well, i think... secondly, we split a new alter AGAIN... and thirdly, i (as of literally this morning) have cut off all contact with my most recent ex. i'm still too emotional to go into full details about what happened between us, but the cutting contact is a direct result of unnecessarily rude treatment from them for multiple months now (which they still deny even now LOL). but basically, i got sick and tired of their behavior, so i cut them off. anyways, i hopefully won't be complaining about my ex ever again (YAY!!!). that's all for now, i think... see you next time!

4/24/24, tech week for radium girls...

hiiii :P tech for radium girls is in full swing now... so naturally i am very stressed, overworked, and tired! no major updates other than that... the writing piece i mentioned last week has been put on hold, because i am in a Quite severe writer's block/burnout. but yeah, really, not much else besides that... OH i did get pokémon shield recently, and i have been playing it a lot... i know i am VERY late to the party for swsh but my special interest (pokémon) was losing fuel so i needed a new game to, well, refuel it i suppose. ANYWAYS, that's all, i swear, see you next week most likely!

4/17/24, all the things!!!

hello!!! radium girls is almost at tech... and it's also nearing preparation for final exams in a lot of my classes... so i am very swamped with things to do!!! that being said, i have been working on another writing piece, so hopefully that will be up soon... also, i don't think i've mentioned this yet, but i'm in the process of a BIG medication change, so that's been... difficult to say the least. but other than that, nothing much has happened this week! sooo yeah. see you next week maybe probably!

4/10/24, so about that adhd diagnosis...

HI. my adhd results came back and you will never believe the results (sarcasm). i actually do have adhd!!! it's combined type, which means i am extra silly i think. since then, i have been doing research on comorbid autism/adhd (i was diagnosed with autism in 2021) and a lot of it resonates very deeply. anyways, i have been pretty swamped with schoolwork and rehearsals for radium girls, so updates will continue to be less frequent. also, we split a new alter, check it out if you get a chance! that's all for now, see you sometime!

4/3/24, updates after spring break

helloooo :) i went to puerto rico for spring break! it was very fun, despite a lot of personal things. in other news, i got evaluated for adhd on monday! i get my results next monday... so we'll see about that! school has started again, and things have generally been well. i am on new medications though, so apologies if my behavior seems off in any way. that's pretty much all the news i have... see you soon!

3/18/24, EVEN MORE updates

hihihi! reminding you guys once again that i will be offline from 3/25 to 3/30 for spring break... no major updates, but i have had a few system-related discoveries that will eventually go into the system page whenever i ACTUALLY make it (which will hopefully be soon... maybe). i also have been on a writing grind so expect some more updates to that page soon... that's pretty much it! i did try to code a tumblr theme again but i eventually gave up because MAN it is difficult (in my unskilled opinion). sooo yeah, see you when i see you!

3/13/24, miscellaneous updates

hello hello hello :) i have some more updates for you all! first of all, i got into a local summer precollege creative writing program! i received an scholarship to this program in january for submitting to the college's local high school writing contest, and now it is confirmed that i am attending :) also, spring break is soon! i am traveling out of the country from 3/25 to 3/30, so be aware that that will be happening soon (no site updates during that time). that's pretty much it, so again, see you when i next see you!

3/6/24, radium girls auditions!

HIII! it feels good to be back Tbh... the big news this week is that i had auditions for the play radium girls at my school! the cast list is already out, i got raymond berry/william bailey! it's not a huge role, but i'm still excited :) i'm also co-running my school's tradition of senior roses, where we give roses to the cast/crew of our show that are seniors. however, rehearsals for radium girls start Very soon, so again, updates will be sporadic for the time being. so, see you when i see you!

2/26/24, the bitch is back

HI. holy shit it has been a while. ummm not much happened while i was gone? but i'll summarize why i took a hiatus for anyone reading this in the future... basically i hit a really bad burnout following nearly six months of weekly updates on this site (though the burnout wasn't solely due to my constant coding), and had to take time to physically and mentally recuperate. i did really miss coding though, so i'm happy to say i'm back, and i'm feeling a bit better. though, because of all that, weekly updates are MUCH less realistic and updates will probably be sporadic or whenever i feel like it for a while. on that note, see you when i next see you!

1/23/24, new computer!

HI!!! reporting live from a macbook air! so long story short, last thursday, my surface pro ran out of battery. little did i know, the charging port was Badly damaged from nearly five years (2019-2024) of use, and it would never turn on again. it also died in the middle of the school day, a few days away from the end of the quarter, so things were not looking good. luckily, my dad came in clutch and was able to get me a new laptop over the weekend. i am pretty sad about my old surface pro dying though, it got me through a lot, including the height of the pandemic. but still! onto better things (and better computers). see you next week!

1/15/24, ahghhghgggh

Hiiii hello hi!!! i've had a Very busy week so i apologize for the lack of updates... the main update is that i got invited to participate in a friend's pokémon tournament, using scarlet/violet gym rules! i'm Super excited and have been building a competitive team since i got invited... i also made a (sort of) oc based on my trainer for this tournament! his name is echo, you can read more about him here! i've also had a LOT of schoolwork to do (and still have to do) so i will probably be a Little more inactive, sorry! see you guys :)

1/8/24, some updates

hiii everyone! so. there is one important personal update that i should mention, i'm seeking out testing for an adhd diagnosis. i don't want to get into my entire medical history, but i've had some conflicting/overlapping diagnoses in the past so this might be difficult to obtain. i've had a lot of struggles with attention span and focus issues that have interfered especially with my schoolwork, so hopefully getting this diagnosis will help sort things out. anyways, i've been back at school. trying to get things done, haha. hope you guys have a good week!

1/2/24, a longer break

HELLO WORLD! it is now 2024, what a time to be alive! a lot of things have happened haha... i got both portal games and pokémon legends arceus for christmas, and i started playing them! i struggled a lot with mental and physical health, but i return to school tomorrow and currently feel fairly okay. my sister is still recovering well and is back in school now. also, even though this journal update is on a tuesday the next one will be on monday, as usual. i'm excited to be back, and i missed you all! see you next week.

12/11/23, sleepy week

hi again! nothing much happened this week, mostly just fatigue and headaches. in other news, i think i might upgrade to a neocities supporter today? i really do wish they had a yearly payment option, as that's much easier for me to remember to save up for... (and i really only desire custom domains)... but yeah my sister is still doing well, i'm still obsessed with pokémon violet, and i'm still doing pretty well! very stressed with schoolwork, but winter break starts this weekend so that shouldn't be an issue for much longer. see you next week :)

12/4/23, site redesign!

hello there! reporting live from nitw version TWO! i have yet to update this specific page to match the homepage's theme, but rest assured that all pages will be updated to fit the theme at some point. in other news, my sister is recovering well! everything on her end went smoothly, for the most part. i finally got to see my therapist again, so i've been pretty okay, mentally. i picked up splatoon 3 again recently, following the news about the upcoming frosty fest. i mainly played the recent big run, and got a highscore of 103 eggs! but yeah, i've been okay i think. see you next week!

11/27/23, even more updates! (cw: surgery mention)

hello again! i'm currently on thanksgiving break, so that's nice. my sister's surgery was this morning, but i have yet to find out how it went :( i'm certain she'll be okay, though. i saw my doctor, and i'm definitely seeing an orthopedic doctor sometime in the near future for my bad knee. my mental health has been somewhat better? i think that's just because i don't have to deal with my ex or my crush outside of school. i've definitely cried less, though! also!!! i recently coded myself a tumblr theme!!! you can check it out here if you want. that's all for now!

11/20/23, more updates!

hihi! so pippin is officially Over... our three shows went pretty well, i'd say! my mental/physical health has not been doing too great, however... i'm seeing my doctor this week, though, so hopefully i'm able to get adequate help. my mental struggles have been concerning incessantly rude treatment from my ex and issues with my very unrequited (and very unavailable) crush. i have cried a lot in the past week, to be honest! but now that i have a lot more free time, updates will probably resume on this site. i'm hoping things start to look up soon.

11/13/23, pippin show week (cw: surgery mention)

hello!!! things have been very stressful once again tbh... not much happened this past week besides a lot of rehearsals and schoolwork. i revived my dead twitter account recently for some friends on tumblr... that's been pretty fun, being back on social media again and whatnot. i can't remember if i've mentioned this or not but my sister's knee surgery is VERY soon, and i really hope she makes a quick recovery. again, updates will probably be infrequent while i have pippin performances going on, but next week i will likely return :) wish me luck!

11/6/23, pippin tech week!

hiiiiiiiii! my school's first quarter just ended, which is good because that's a little off my plate. (yippee!) anyways, pippin tech week starts today! Ahhhhhh! we had rehearsal on saturday, and my knee popped out Again. i'm definitely seeing a doctor once the show is done, though. anyways, i picked up pokémon violet again and started ev training a few pokémon for tera raid battles! fun stuff, i hope. but i am still Very swamped with pippin unfortunately, so my break will likely continue a little while longer. thanks for hanging in there, though! see you next week :)

10/23/23, a short break

hi again! i'm writing this as i'm returning from a teeny tiny mental health/school work break. i had to take a break because i'm REALLY falling behind in school, sadly. the stress of junior year is monumental tbh. i'm still pretty behind, but i'm getting there! so site updates shall return, albeit sporadically. anyways, i picked up splatoon 3 again following a pretty bad depressive episode. i haven't touched that game in almost a year, but i wanted to return for splatoween! i love that silly little squid game. anyways, things have not been great, but the time will pass anyways! signing off for now :)

10/16/23, a small update

hello again! i am very stressed :) i have a calculus test today and a lot of missing assignments... but fuck it we ball! but yeah i've been very stressed lately and i considered taking a hiatus from updating this site, however i am still here and still updating! so things have been okay, all things considered. pippin rehearsals have been... a lot lately. being dance captain is really a full time job tbh. we're staging act 2 this week, and the show opens in exactly one month! (ahhhh!) regarding my last entry, my sister is doing better. she's still in a knee splint, though. regardless, things have been stressful! i might take some time off, i might not! we'll see :P

10/9/23, knee issues (cw: injury description)

hi all! second blog post yippee... there's not much to update on besides that my little sister's knee recently dislocated :( not even two weeks after mine also dislocated... hers was arguably much worse though, as mine popped right back in and i didn't need to go to the hospital. it really sucks though, since we both have a lot going on right now. overall though, things have been fine i think... busy, but fine. i played a lot of the teal mask dlc (pokémon violet) and learned how to shiny hunt from my stepbrother! i currently have a shiny munchlax and mimikyu, and i am looking for a shiny poltchageist. but regardless, things have been somewhat fine. hoping my sister recovers fast.

10/4/23, first entry

hello world! i'll try to do weekly (?) blog updates... depends on how busy i am tbh. i am currently working on getting a guestbook up and running. but this week has been Super busy so idk when i'll have time for that! but generally, running this site for the past month has been awesome :) school has been getting better... i had a knee injury a few weeks ago that had me miss some work, but it's all good now. overall: things are fine! yippee!